Genital hair - tips

Women are divided into those who tend to their pubic (genital) hair, and those who do not. Either way is perfectly fine as long as the woman is happy with her choice, and is not forced into it.

For those who attend to pubic hair, you have the option/s of trimming (with scissors), waxing, shaving, using depilatory preparations, electrolysis, etc.

• Scissors: use small (nail) scissors for best results. If your pubic hair is coarse and thick, you can start cutting using regular scissors, then switch to the small ones.
• Waxing can be partial, complete (’Brazilian’), or anything in-between. Make sure it is done by a reputable technician who exercises proper sanitary conditions. If you are sensitive, those after-wax ’skin bumps/pimples’ may be unavoidable.
• Shaving: regardless of the type of razor you use, you can avoid skin reaction (’bumps/pimples’) if you shave at least 2 hours before or after you bathe. Shave at the sink using your usual methods and rinse with a washcloth; wait the specified time to let the skin pores close to avoid a reaction. This tip also applies to shaving the underarms, and your legs if you are sensitive there as well.

Sleeping with a tampon?

Contrary to widely circulating myths, it is perfectly safe to use a tampon overnight = tampons are ’safe’ inside the vagina for many hours.

You may not know this but, gynecological surgeries will often end with a gauze packing in the vagina for 24 hours to absorb bleeding.  Amazing, right?

Problems may occur when a tampon is forgotten and left in the vagina so long that it begins to ‘ferment’ and harbor bad bacteria.

Killing an orgasm

It does not take much for a woman to lose/stop sexual arousal and not reach an orgasm.

Typically, if the woman does not have health issues, this problem will rarely be caused by physical factors except if clitoral stimulation is done beyond the sense of comfort, i.e. too long, too hard, or without needed lubrication (remember: the clitoris does not self-lubricate!).

For a woman to get sexually aroused, she has to ’shut down’ her working mind and let herself get into those ‘body nice’ sensations, kind of like the high of eating the best chocolate dessert ever…

Potential ’stop signs’ that will kill arousal and orgasm include:

• A preoccupied mind — the inability to stop thinking about other matters such as the dishes in the sink, the job project that is due tomorrow, etc.
• A worried mind: will the kids walk in? Will the parents hear us? Shall I answer the phone that is ringing? Will my partner notice the weight I put on recently?
• Sexual concerns: It takes me longer to ‘get there’ and I feel bad for him… Am I clean enough down there? I don’t know how to tell my partner how I prefer to be stimulated… Am I as good (in bed) as his last girlfriend? Should I just fake it and get it over with??????

An important fact: women will not necessarily orgasm every time they are stimulated and may, at times, ‘lose it’ without an apparent reason. However, this should not be happening on a regular basis.

Bottom line: the female’s mind acts as a sexual filter and ‘clogging’ will kill the pleasure. Be attuned to your ’stop signs’ so that you will be able to enjoy the sexual act to its fullest.

Inspecting the vagina?

• Do women need to regularly inspect their genitals/vagina?
• Is a mirror needed to find the vaginal opening?

Not really.

You do not require a mirror to find your mouth when eating, do you? Same with the vagina!

Women have an inherent sense of their vaginal opening and if they allow their natural instinct to lead them, they will arrive at just the right spot: a bit too high, and you hit the urethra; higher yet — the clitoris; a bit too low and you bump against the perineal body, the skin area that separates the genitals from the rectal opening; and way too low — well, everyone knows their rectal opening!

However, feel free to pull out the mirror and look if you are learning about your genitals for the first time; or if you feel an irritation and wish to inspect; or if you shave/clip the pubic hair, etc. - - these would be considered ‘maintenance’ issues and you can use whatever is needed to do the job.

Note: the skin color in the genitals may change in response to your current hormonal state, your level of hydration, as a reaction to chafing irritation, sweating, prolonged sexual activities, etc. There is no need to get alarmed nor get hung up on it being ‘too red, or too white’ unless you have symptoms that need medical attention.

Female genital hygiene

Is there a ‘right way’ to clean the genitals? The vagina?

Generally speaking, the female genitals include skin folds (outer and inner lips), the clitoral hood + the clitoris, and the openings to the urethra and the vagina.

A lot to clean, right? Not really.

The vagina is self cleaning (!) unless instructed by your healthcare provider to douche; the rest can be easily maintained following the tips below.

Note: it is common to find residue in the genitals: toilet paper dust/pieces, sloughed dry skin, leftover ointment/medications, etc. If left accumulated they may cause skin irritation. If you can, use a mirror and take a look at your genitals every 2-3 months to ensure good hygiene.

• Install a hand-held shower to better rinse off the area. If not possible, use a spray bottle.
• Never use hot water on the genitals so as to avoid over-drying and chafing irritations. You can take your shower as hot as you wish but turn the water to warm when rinsing the genitals.
• Best to use a neutral or hypoallergenic soup to avoid irritations caused by fragrances and/or other chemicals in the soap. However, feel free to use any soap you like when washing the rest of your body.
• No need to scrub the area. Apply a bit of (neutral/hypoallergenic) soap on your hand, lightly soap between the genital lips (not inside the vagina) and rinse. If using the soap makes the genitals burn, use warm water for a few days before trying again, and/or try another soap.
• Pat dry the area when you towel off and just leave it alone.
• If your genitals feel dry, you can apply a thin coat of Aquaphor to the area between the lips, but not inside the vagina. Aquaphor is an over-the-counter ointment that can be also used as a lip balm, a diaper ointment, and a barrier ointment to prevent chafing irritations between toes (during running), in the genitals (bike riding), etc.

Not much more is needed…. Use the same approach if taking a bath.

Vagina - endless?

Can anything get lost in the vagina??????

Does the vagina continue into my abdomen? Chest? Throat?

Interestingly, many women perceive the vagina as a long, continuous canal that starts at the genitals and continues into the body… Sort of like the digestive system, that spans from mouth to rectum (or vice versa).

This perception leads to worries such as noted above, easily believed with the vagina being an ‘invisible’ part of the body that cannot be self-tested.

The truth:

• The vagina is only about 10-12cm deep (4-4.5 inches)
• It is a dead-end tube
• A typical gynecologic exam will check the entire length of the vagina
• In the unlikely event that the tampon is ’stuck’ there, it can be easily retrieved
• Nothing can get lost ‘in there’

If you’ve just taken out a ruler to see how long 10-12cm are, you may wonder how does an erect penis fit inside being that it is longer than the quoted vaginal length…

Well, nature was created by a fine architect: the uterus, which sits at the deep end of the vagina, is like a trampoline, able to be nudged into the pelvis by the arriving penis, thus lengethening the vagina as needed.

Smart, isn’t it?

Exercising & aging

The more one tries to find excuses not to exercise, the more one is faced with growing evidence that the body strives on being active.

The newest research on the subject concludes that a regular exercise routine through middle age can delay biological aging by up to 12 years. Click here for the actual article.

Although most of you have years to go before entering ‘middle age,’ why not start young? The benefits may compound, sort of like an IRA account.

One way to start: team up with Mom and work out together — walk, jog, go to the gym, whatever gets your body and soul working toward a long time together.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Diet & stroke

A medical research was just released about the DASH-style diet, concluding that it lowers the risk of coronary heart disease (CHD) and stroke.

Past research already concluded that the DASH-style diet lowers blood pressure.

• DASH = Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (pamphlet)
  
• Hypertension = an abnormally high blood pressure
  

The research was conducted over a 24-year span (1980-2004) and was based on 88,517 women who were between the ages of 34-59 at the start of the study.

This outcome should serve as a reminder that our bodies thrive on basic nutrients and that we can do quite a bit to enhance good health, especially if we start young.

Bon appetit!

Vaginismus cure & ejaculation

Is ejaculation during intercourse mandatory for defining vaginismus cure?

Not at all.

A cure is there when the woman owns her vagina = able to have all penetrations symptoms-free and at vaginal tempo.

All penetrations refer to finger, tampons, vaginal applicator for insertion of medications, gynecologic exam (finger + speculum), and penis or penis-size dildo.

Regarding intercourse, a cure is reached when the woman is able to have the penis enter and thrust.  The ejaculation component is insignificant to the cure.

However, most every couple aims at completing ‘the act’ (penetration + thrusting +ejaculation) as a symbol of being cured.

Vaginismus & fingering

How can I get aroused if I cannot have a finger in my vagina?

Answer: quite easily.

Contrary to popular belief, a woman does not need a finger in her vagina to be sexually aroused; what she does need is clitoral stimulation!

Does a finger in the vagina feel nice? Does it enhance sexual arousal? That depends on the woman’s sexual style and preferences.  It is not a decision that her partner should make for her.

Can she masturbate and get to an orgasm if her vagina cannot have any penetration (vaginismus)?  Of course.  See above.

Bottom line (no pun intended): women with vaginismus can lead a sexually satisfying life.